Welcome to Date Camp!
As we launch the new Date Camp website, I invite you to read about us page by page. The articles, columns, news and videos you’ll find here were written for YOU and the 96 million people in the United States who are single.
You’re not alone out there – even though you may feel like it from time to time. You’re simply on a journey to discover your reason for being and the individual you want to share your life with. And that’s a mission worth savoring and enjoying.
Forget that dating can be scary. So what if it’s hard, awkward, confusing, complex, embarrassing and at times, gut wrenching. People have been dating since the time of cave men and women. If your parents could do it, so can you. And you’ve now got a valuable resource to help you that none of them had – Date Camp!
Date Camp is the school of dating you wish you’d been sent to instead of high school. Date Camp has a roster of coaches that specialize in everything from relationships to self confidence to intimacy, plus a whole lot more! Think of them as the big brothers and sisters you wish you’d had to advise you on things like that first date, first kiss, meeting his/her parents and your first agonizing attempt at intimacy. Well, the past is the past, and guess what?
It’s today, and you’ve got Date Camp on your computer, on your television, on your I-Pad and on your smart phone!
Mankind and womankind were not meant to live alone. Find a partner on the path and walk hand-in-hand into the future. Date Camp and its coaches are here to guide you every step of the way.
Happy trails!
Jalynn Venis, Executive Director
The Importance of Honesty
Q: “I discovered someone I met on an Internet dating service lied on his profile, and we have another date scheduled. Should I still go out with him? Should I call him on the lie?”
A: Why would you even think about going out with a guy after finding out he’s a liar? People tell us all the time who they are, and many of us choose to not listen. Women are especially apt to do this because they feel that they can change a man. But girls, you can’t change a person’s dishonest character any more than you can change the diamonds on a rattlesnake.
If you’re still considering dating this guy, ask yourself why you feel so unworthy that you’ve got to date him or no one. Is he really the best you can do?
So what if he’s a hottie. There are lots of con artists in the world and they come in all sizes, shapes and pretty colors. Do you really want one of them in your life?
If a man lies to you in the beginning and you don’t call him on it, then you’re giving him permission to lie to you at every opportunity, and that’s a dangerous and disturbing precedent to base a relationship on.
If honesty is important to you, I wouldn’t even take time to negotiate. I would kick him to the curb with a smile on my face and move on. You deserve so much more!
Nancy Pederson, Dating and Life Coach
Nancy is a Doctor of Chiropractic and consultant in nutrition, wellness and anti-aging technologies. In terms of dating savvy, Nancy is the dean of dating with an answer for everything. She can be reached at AskNancyDateCamp@hotmail.com.
Danae Shanti, Mind/Body/Spirit Coach
Let’s face it, there’s a lot to sort through. We are multifaceted people with depth, dimension and a whole range of personalities, styles and preferences. The more successful dates happen when we know who we are and what we want. Think of this is a screening process.
It’s empowering to know who we are and what we want. This clarity creates confidence and direction, and that in itself is a gift to us and to prospective dates.
Let’s take Susan for example. Susan knew she was ready for the “real deal.” Her goal was to meet a man who could match her passion for the arts, share in her world travel adventures and engage in sophisticated, gala events.
Susan knew she valued spiritual ideals as well as family. She also knew that having children wouldn’t be on her agenda for another 7 years. Her past experiences with men who were “nesting” types helped her learn that her direction didn’t match the men of that lifestyle.
When Susan received a “high-level match” from the dating service she was very excited. She first noticed how attractive Ben was. She liked his communication style and his sense of humor. His age and geographical location all met her qualifications. He was sweet, smooth and debonair. He also had traveled the world and followed a spiritual path.
With great anticipation, Susan read more about Ben, and learned that he was an organic gardener and beekeeper. His roots and stability were important to him, and he had had his fill of world travel. Ben wanted to start a family within a couple of years, stay home and share his cozy lifestyle with his beloved.
Susan felt that old familiar feeling of wanting to contact Ben “just in case” it would be different in person than what she’d read. She noticed that inclination and asked herself an important question, “Do I want to try and change this person to meet my agenda, or do I trust in myself that I know what I want and where I’m heading and let this match go?”
Over the past five years, Susan had learned to truly value herself. She had become clear on who she was and what she wanted, and these things for her were non-negotiable. Her clarity about staying with her plan outweighed her propensity for romanticizing this potential connection. By making this choice she honored herself and didn’t waste Ben’s time. She let the match go and moved on.
Any of us could be in Susan’s shoes. Sometimes the wish for love and partnership can pull us off of our trajectory. The difficulty with getting distracted is that the core things we value will surface after a time, they always do.
By being clear about what matters most to her, Susan is sure to meet a man who aligns with her energy naturally, and, overall, this will be great for both parties involved.
Before entering the dating realm it’s good for us to complete a personal inquiry. Susan stayed true to herself and so can we. The following eight questions are guideposts and may inspire a deeper inquiry to help us get to know who we are and what we want relative to ourselves and dating:
1) What am I most passionate about and committed to?
2) What are my spiritual or religious beliefs and do I need someone to share these beliefs?
3) Do I believe in myself and trust myself in guiding my own life?
4) Am I flexible in my thinking or committed to an agenda already in place for my life?
5) Have I completed on past relationships or is there more closure work to do?
6) What are my emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, sexual and overall lifestyle needs?
7) Do I want children in my life, and, if so, how and when?
8) Do I want to be with someone similar to me or different?
Many of us have to learn to take stock in ourselves, it doesn’t necessarily come automatically. We all have inner critics as well as inner champions, and these impact they way we perceive ourselves and influence whether or not we feel loveable and valuable.
Getting to know ourselves intimately is a primer for getting to know another person. If we come to a connection as self-resourced adults then there is less attachment to trying to get our needs met through someone else. There is also more enjoyment in receiving someone for whom they truly are without our hidden agendas for them.
Dating is an adventure with many flavors to it. If we are open to it, we can feel ourselves in relationship to another soul, and sense whether a connection has true potential or not.
When we are self-resourced, we have the space to do a screening process before agreeing to meet with someone. If we still feel a desire to meet them, then we have the capacity to really receive them in who they are because we’re not hoping to be “completed” by them. Instead, we’re focused on the amazing fullness that can happen when two people who know who they are and what they want come together.
When the path is clear and expectations are reasonable, each person can enjoy the dating experience for the gifts that it brings, just the way it is.
Danae Shanti is a conscious intuitive coach and founder of Breathing Life Events, a program that uses breath for personal and professional breakthroughs. Contact Danae at danae@TheBreathingLife.com.
Let’s Get Physical
Make sure your first date with someone special relaxes their nerves and helps tear down the walls that people shield themselves with. Physical activities are great for accomplishing these goals.
Whether your date involves tubing down a creek, riding roller coasters at an amusement park, roller skating or rapelling down a rock, choose a fun and slightly physically challenging activity – something that causes your partner to reach out to you for support now and then and helps him/her develop a comfort zone by touching you in a way that physically bonds and paves the way for gentle touch later on.
Date Camp coaches have been selected for their experience, compassion, and insight into relationships and romance.
All of them are professional coaches with at least three years of experience working with people like you who need a little guidance now and then to make the most of a relationship or opportunity to date.
Our coaches are extraordinary, but they’re not just pretty faces with quality credentials. They’re the real thing – people who have laughed and loved and experienced their share of bliss and heartache, just like you. They’re also people who have analyzed the ups and downs of relationships through personal experience and intense training and study.
Date Camp coaches are very good at what they do, and they’re committed to helping you learn about yourself and the art and science of relationships.
Through their columns and Coaching Clinic Videos, they offer you key understandings and guidance to help you to be the person you want to be and live the life you desire. At Date Camp retreats and events, they provide group and one-on-one coaching. They’re also available for telephone and e-mail coaching with special rates for Date Camp subscribers.
Meet our coaches and feel free to contact them for personal coaching sessions!
Leslie Bartlett, Relationships Coach
Leslie is a Certified Professional Life Coach who specializes in relationships and how to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be. Learn more about Leslie at www.AllegriaCoaching.com and contact her at Leslie@AllegriaCoaching.com.
Joanna Kennedy, Intimacy Coach
Joanna directs The Center for Greater Loving where she offers private sessions and workshops that help men and women create deeply loving relationships. Get to know Joanna at www.GreaterLoving.com or contact her at Joanna@GreaterLoving.com.
Chris Natzke, Self-Confidence and Strength Coach
Chris is a 7th Degree Black Belt/Master Instructor as well as a U.S. National Champion (1999). He teaches leadership and self protection seminars. Learn more about Chris at www.ChrisNatzke.com. You can reach him at Chris@ChrisNatzke.com.
Nancy Pederson, Dating and Life Coach
Nancy is a former Doctor of Chiropractic and consultant in nutrition, wellness and anti-aging technologies. In terms of dating savvy, Nancy is the dean of dating with an answer for everything. Contact her at AskNancyDateCamp@hotmail.com.
Bret Roller, Outdoor Adventure and Self Confidence Coach
An experienced outdoor guide and educator, Bret loves sharing the outdoors with others and helping people develop physical skills and confidence. Learn more about Bret at www.WAEI.org and reach him at Bret@WAEI.org.
Danae Shanti, Body/Mind/Spirit Coach
Danae is a conscious intuitive coach and founder of Breathing Life Events, a program that uses breath for personal and professional breakthroughs. You’ll find Danae at www.TheBreathingLife.com. You can reach her at Danae@TheBreathingLife.com.
Jalynn Venis, Personal and Intuitive Development Coach
Jalynn is a writer, television producer, intuitive explorer, and the executive director of Date Camp. She has coached individuals and company employees in personal development. You can reach her at Jalynn@JalynnVenis.com and visit her website at www.JalynnVenis.com.
... Love makes life worth living. But finding the right person to love and share an intimate relationship with is the tricky part.
... The typical approach to finding
love starts with dating. Despite the importance of this quirky human ritual, there’s no training that prepares us
to be thrown into the dating pool...
until now!
